“You don’t seem yourself,” a good friend recently said to me. And she was right. I wasn’t myself. It was one of those moments I didn’t try to hide that I was fighting a dark spiritual battle, and had been for quite some time. Overwhelm, anger, hurt from misunderstandings, deep grief, and inadequacy had made their way into my heart and had stayed there for quite some time, darkening my hope and muting my connection with God.

Having had enough of being in a pit, I finally cried out to God, “Where are You in this? Where is Your Spirit that I usually feel right next to me? How long will this darkness of heart go on for?”

And in His gentle way, He replied in my mind, “Until it’s time for the Light.”

Instantaneously, my thoughts traveled to Jesus’s remaining disciples who watched Him be beaten, put on trial, and crucified. Their Rabbi, Messiah, and Friend, who was supposed to save everyone, was dead. The tomb was dark inside. And I’d wager, the disciples felt that darkness, too. Some disciples scattered, afraid of persecution (Matt. 26:31, Mark 14:50). Some disciples locked their doors in fear of the Jews and religious leaders (John 20:19). You can be sure doubt besieged them, since they didn’t yet know about the story’s crescendo of resurrection.

When I put myself in their shoes, I imagine them feeling lost, confused, angry, scared, overwhelmed, and, especially, grieved. God had allowed them to feel this for a reason and stay “in the dark” about the resurrection of His Son. We won’t know why He didn’t lay out a minute-by-minute schedule for them this side of heaven. But what we DO know (as something that I hope encourages your heart today) is that the Light WILL pierce the darkness eventually. Was it in the disciples’ timing? No. It was fully in God’s timing, and His timing wasn’t based on the disciples’ feelings. It was based on His eternal, sovereign plan that the disciples didn’t realize until after the time of darkness and doubt. Then God showed up. Then … they understood.

And that gave me comfort this week in my own life. Though I sometimes feel hopeless darkness, like in a tomb, God’s timing is perfect. Faith is “even if.” Even if I want to run away like the scattered disciples… Even if I want to isolate and “lock my door” out of fear… Even when I think all is lost… The Light WILL come in its own time.

We who have the Scriptures in our hands know that darkness can last for a night, but JOY comes in the morning (Ps. 30:5). And morning always comes, thanks to the source of all Light. So hold on. I know the night is dark. I know the uncertainty is terrifying. I know your faith is being tested right now. But hold on. The Light is coming.

© 2026 Rachel D. Lyne